Wasting Light

Social Connections: Final post

Social connections blog post: Final Week

                This is my final blog post for the A&S Wired Class: Social Connections . I have really enjoyed this class and what it has to offer to Wired students. Coming into this class I really had no idea what it would entail besides the course description given when I registered for classes. I enjoyed the class size and being able to have discussions with people I got to know throughout the course.  I learned a lot of things and concepts over the 8 weeks of this course. Such as: One will not perish without Facebook, Dale Carnegie liked to state the obvious, sex is scientifically complicated, I would not have been a Kinsey volunteer, and relationships are what one makes them.

                In the first few class sessions, one of our assignments was to watch The Social Network, and to go on a “Facebook Fast” for no less than three days. I really enjoyed this out of class activity. I love the movie The Social Network and knowing how Zuckerburg  came about forming a multi-million dollar business. It was not easy for him and he lost a lot of money and friends along the way. I also enjoyed going on the Facebook Fast, I learned that I would not die without Facebook, and it also gave me some extra time to do other things instead of looking at what other people are doing all the time. I also certainly did not miss people who got excited because they were going to Walmart and had to post about it.  

                The first book we read, was “How to Win Friends and Influence People” by Dale Carnegie. I enjoyed some parts of this book, but the other times I felt like Carnegie was reiterating what he had already previously stated. I also felt like the principles he was discussing was stating the obvious. All of the principles he was talking about, I was already doing or have been doing. I felt as though it was common sense but on the other hand was somewhat refreshing and enlightening.  I respected and agreed with most of his opinions.

                The second book we read in class was “Bonk: The Curious Coupling of Science and Sex” by Mary Roach. This book was uncomfortable for some to read, but even more uncomfortable for others to talk about in class. I felt that as we began to discuss the books topics more, we as a whole class grew more comfortable with talking about sex with others. What I got from this book is that sex is scientifically complicated. Mary Roach went into finite detail over the mechanisms of sex. I had never really thought that much about sex in great length besides intercourse. I have learned that there are a lot of body functions that go into sex. From the hormones to the muscles that go into it, to the other bodily functions. From the class presentations, I noticed that a lot of people did not like Bonk. However,  I had read Mary Roach’s “Stiff” back in high school, so I knew what I was getting myself into before I had begun reading the book. I enjoy my fair share of comedy, and I absolutely love Mary Roach’s sense of humor and funny factual anecdotes she puts in her books.

                Another thing I found interesting in reading Bonk was the Kinsey experiments. I found these to be extremely controversial especially for the time that it was set in (the 50’s-60’s, I believe?) And  I cannot comprehend who would volunteer to participate in these studies. I learned that I would in no way shape or form volunteer for these kinds of studies. Which also reminds me of all the sex research that was in the book. I found it all interesting but weird at the same time.

                One of the last things I learned in this Social Connections class is that Relationships are what you make them.  What one puts into a relationship, is what one gets out of a relationship. This idea spawns both from Dale Carnegie’s “How To Win Friends and Influence People” and Mary Roach’s “Bonk.” If one does not have the time and energy to put into a relationship, then that person will have a hard time in the relationship for it to be satisfactory. Using the principles discussed in Carnegie’s book  it will help to remind me how to behave in a relationship whether it be a friendship or boyfriend/girlfriend relationship.

                From the final presentations in class, it seems as though mostly everyone has really enjoyed this class. We have all found some way to connect to a topic discussed. I believe this was a really influential class to my beginning of freshman year. The experiences I have had in this class will help me in the future.

Social connections 700 words weekly blog post

This week’s reading of Bonk provided a lot of interesting information to myself that I found most intriguing. Chapter 3 provided a detailed description of the woman’s clitoris. Chapter 4 explored the question of orgasm boosting fertility. The 5^th chapter followed a couple having sex while monitoord in a hospital setting. Chapter 6 talked about Dr. Hsu innovative techniques of penises. Chapter 7 was about discussing the possibilities of only having one testicle or more that two, and does that really disable some virility? The 8^th Chapter discussed the transplants, implants and other types of penises. The final chapter of this week’s reading compared the male’s penis to the female’s clitoris. There was a lot of things discussed  this week, I was bound to find something that was interesting.

                Before reading chapter 4, I really had no idea that pig breeders were so concerned about the female pig’s satisfaction in conceiving, but of course, this is in Denmark. So the standards are a little different from American Custom. The owners of the pig farm seemed to take extreme caution with their pigs, and even tried to pleasure the pigs with their own fingers. This chapter was not all about pigs conceiving but, whether or not orgasm has anything to do with things besides pleasure lie aiding in getting pregnant. Through recent studies, it turns out that being fertile has nothing to do with orgasm. I think this is great news for women who have little to no sex drive/ arousal, if they want to get pregnant they could without having orgasms.

                The 5^th chapter discussed the more scientific research studies about what goes on inside the bodies during sex. Kudos to the first brave couple that volunteered for this study. Also kudos to Mary Roach and her brave husband for also volunteering to partake in the same type of study, I loved the way that she really never came out and told her husband what they were traveling to London for. Way to keep up the suspense! The doctor they went to in London, Dr. Deng, was the first to gather images of internal sexual anatomy. If there was ever a contest to see which “first to…” was the best, I believe his would be the most interesting, by far. I believe it is rather fascinating how we can use technology in this day and time to explore  the wonders of mostly everything, even intimacy.

                Chapter 6 discussed the escapades of a very interesting Taiwanese doctor, Dr. Hsu.  Dr. Hsu was known for his innovative techniques in working with all kinds of abnormalities of the penis. He deals with surgical treatment for impotence. For me, this chapter was rather graphic and I was thankful I had nothing in my stomach prior to reading this chapter, or I might have been a little queasy. Switching subjects, Leonardo da Vinci was the first to figure out that the means by which the penis erected was by blood. For its day, this was a major breakthrough. Now, I feel like if you told that to someone they would be like “DUH.” Mary Roach also said that “the most common explanation for ED is that the erectile tissue is simply getting old.” I feel like this fact is often not thought about and men just assume something is majorly wrong and acquire a mentality that they MUST fix this. There was also discussion of the popular drug Viagra to cure Erectile Dysfunction.  Viagra was launched in 1998 and has made multi-billion dollar profit since that year.

                In the chapter “The Testicle Pushers” Mary Roach discusses the possibilities of not losing testicles and reduced virility.  In class we had a discussion of why men would want an amputee testicle or testicles if they lost one. I believe it is sort of the same thing as a woman having a mastectomy from breast cancer, they want to replace it in order to feel more like a woman, and I think men get replacement testicles in order to feel more virile. There was also interesting anecdotes of the measures men have taken in history to get more virile, like eating a tiger’s penis.

                Overall,  these chapters had a bulk of information in them, and I appreciate Mary Roach’s comedic relief in the most embarrassing situations.

Bystander Intervention

Bystander Intervention Project

                This past Tuesday was the perfect time to do my Bystander Intervention project. It was absolutely pouring down rain on Tuesday. After the Social Connections class on Tuesday, I had to walk from Keeneland Hall to the Seaton Center for my Kinesiology and Health Promotion Class. The walk is a little over a mile, however in the pouring rain it seems like 10 miles. I was so thankful that I had my umbrella with me or I would have got absolutely drenched.  But the rain was coming down I sort of a slanted motion, not to mention the wind was blowing. I was walking in front of the William T. Young library when all of a sudden my umbrella decides to flip inside out. This was a great situation for bystander intervention, and I decided to play off of it. I acted like I was struggling with my umbrella, in which case I halfway was. It was crowded in front of the library, so I was positive that someone would come and help me out. I struggled with my umbrella for a good 5 minutes and no one helped me whatsoever.

                What I learned from this experience is what little attention people pay to the world outside them. People are so busy with their daily lives that I feel like their senses and minded are preoccupied. Especially in the rain, when people just want to get out of it as quick as possible.

Social Connections Blog Part 3

This week’s reading was continuing on the discussion of how to win friends over by avoiding arguments and genuinely be kind and courteous to others and the power of persuasion.

A Drop of Honey

In this chapter I enjoyed the anecdote of John D. Rockefeller. Rockefeller was known for people that truly hated him and his business in Colorado. His employees had turned against him and chose to go on strike, and he wanted to win them to his way of thinking. To do just that, he wrote a persuasive speech that indeed caused his employees and others to admire him. In the past I have had to do persuasive speeches, but I never really thought that much about the true power of words and the inflect in which someone says them, I just wrote a speech to get a grade and get it over with. However, the former example showed that with enough persuasion people can adjust to your way of thinking.

“For friendliness to happen you have to be friendly.” I absolutely loved this quote in Chapter 4.  It is so unbelievably true. I think it seems to amaze a snobby person when they complain that no one wants to hang out with them. But if they only knew that they might need to change their attitude, people might tend to like them more.

The Secret of Socrates

The fifth principal in this reading was about persuading people by getting them to say “yes.” Socrates, is a prime example of getting people to say yes. In the book he is noted as one of the wisest persuaders of all time. In fact, the Socratic Method was formed after him. The Socratic Method is asking questions with which the person or opponent would have to agree. I think this is an excellent  piece of information all minds should know this and learn from it.

The other principal in this chapter was when engaging in a conversation, do not start off by talking about things that you and another person do not agree on. This will cause people in the conversation to get angry and awkward very quickly. Instead of setting up oneself for disaster, one should be aware of the people who are in the conversation and talk about the things that people have in common and go from there. I believe this works quite nicely in real-world situations.

Another important principal in this chapter is to emphasize with what you agree on and also to try to make people agree by outing things into their perspective. These are definitely a necessity when discussing something to someone. I always try to implement these things in my discussions.

The Safety Valve in Handling Complaints

The important things to remember in this chapter is to remain as calm and courteous to others when they disagree with or complain about something that one may be talking about. I learned that you should ideally let other people talk themselves out about a subject. In the end you and the other person will be more satisfied when you walk away. I have had this done to me several times and we it is very nice not to get deeply upset over something. Another important principal in this chapter is to not interrupt people. Interruption causes distraction from the other participant in the conversation and all the time all they can think about is how a person interrupted them to begin with.

I found these chapters to be enlightening and useful in my everyday interactions and relationships in all perspectives. These are principals to live by.

Social Connections: An Unlikely Occurence

                Life is full of surprises. Recently I was assigned an activity that required me to reconnect with a friend I had not spoken to in over a year. I had contemplated who it was to be and was planning on talking to them this past Sunday. The odd thing is that before I was going to do it on that Sunday, I looked at my phone and I had a text message from the person I was going to reconnect with!

                She told me that she saw my mom out in town back home and had talked to her about how I was and how college was for me. She mentioned that she knew my birthday was next month and she wanted to come up when my mom did to go out and eat or something. All of this information was a little overwhelming to me, however I was absolutely delighted that we had talked since it had been so long.

                My friend and I had not really been in an argument or anything of that matter. We had just sort of drifted apart from each other as most friends do over time. She went to one high school and I another, and then we both acquired other friends and lost our connection

Social Connections Blog Post #2

This past week’s reading of Dale Carnegie’s “How to Win Friends And Influence People” was a discussion of avoiding an argument as best one can, showing respect for ideas of others, and admitting you are wrong abruptly and sincerely.

You Can’t Win An Argument

The first section provided instances of where people would say something that they knew for certain was factual, when it really was not and the other person knew that it was not. This is a perfect opportunity for an argument, however, Carnegie suggests that one should not divulge into arguing with another even if you know they are absolutely incorrect. I have had several run-ins with this sort of potential argument. Someone will say something that I know is not factual, and in the past I have corrected people several times, but then the person will still stand their ground. So in order to not get in an argument with the person, I usually just drop the subject. I liked what Carnegie quoted from Benjamin Franklin on arguing. “If you argue and rankle and contradict, you may achieve a victory sometimes; but it will be an empty victory because you will never get your opponent’s good will.” I thought this described how arguing is really just a waste of time, perfectly.

A Sure Way of Making Enemies- and How To Avoid It.

If someone wants to be liked they do not need to come in on a conversation with a vengeance to prove that they can win an argument and change a person’s view of things. For one, people will subconsciously start to dislike that person because of their attitude and also, rarely can someone change someone else’s viewpoint, you can make them see where you are coming from. But to totally change their opinion of something is nearly impossible unless it is life threatening. This goes along with what Galileo once said: “You cannot teach a man anything; you can only help him to find it within himself.”  In my life, I really do not have the attitude of thinking I can prove or change someone else’s opinion. I try to listen to everyone and really seek to understand where that person is coming from. I think a good way to learn is to take in what everyone says and not dwell on the things you do not agree with. Carnegie also talks about being told that we are wrong and human reaction. He believes that we “harden our hearts” when told we are wrong. I agree with this to an extent, however I really think it depends on the context. For example, I would not lay down and die on the spot if I was told I got answer wrong on my math homework.

If You’re Wrong, Admit It

The title of this chapter pretty much speaks for itself, if you’re wrong admit it. I found some humor in the park example. The cop let the man have his dog unleashed, because the dog was little and that the owner admitted to the cop that he knew he should have the dog leashed. If the owner had not acknowledged that he was in the wrong, it could have ended up worse than getting off free. Carnegie talks about a gaining satisfaction from having the courage to admit you are in the wrong. I think this is very important in relationships. Whether you admit you are wrong or not, can make or break a relationship in certain situations.

“How to Win Friends & Influence People” Pt. 1 Reaction

Part 1 of how to win friends and influence people brought up many concepts that one might not particularly look at, but is on a subconscious level. I agree with the author’s argument in the first section, “If You Want To Gather Honey Don’t Kick Over The Beehive.” The main argument in this section was that we as human beings do not usually blame ourselves for the mistakes commit.

From past experience I know that this is the way some people think. If they have done something and recieved some form of backlash, the person will not think that it is their fault for their own mistake. The section also indulge in the speculation that people do not like criticism from anyone, including themselves. Personally, I know that I criticize others, however I would 99 out of 100 times say my criticism to a person’s face. In reverse I would not like anyone to criticize me openly. I believe that it is not possible to have no criticism in one’s life, but I really think people should think about whether they should share that criticism or not.

In this section, I also enjoyed the story about Lincoln. I liked that the author showed that he also had flaws as being a fellow human, and was not this perfect being that some stereotypes portal. I felt that the information portrayed about him was fascinating.

The second section, “The Big Secret Of Dealing With People,” provided insight on how to get people help you or get people to do things. Carnegie said that it was simple as making that person or group of people want to do it. As simple as this concept is, I had never really given much thought to it. I have never really had trouble in getting people to do things with me or for me. However, I can see what the author is talking about because of people I know who want someone to do something for them but cannot seem to manage it.

“The desire to be important” is mentioned in this section, that was said to very important throughout the book. I do think there is an urge in people to feel needed and that people want to feel important. No one wants to feel like no one cares about them. This urge means that for the desire of people to be important, there has to be someone who is making this person feel important. This fact alone creates diversity for everyone, as to who exactly makes someone else feel important.

The final section in part 1, discusses the fact that all of us are interested in what we want, in turn the only way to influence people is to talk about what they want and how to get it. I do not completely agree with this argument, to me, yes if you talk to a person about what they want, to a extent you will influence them, however, I think that one’s thoughts, feelings, actions, and personality influences a person more than just discussing The personal interests of others.